Worrying

I find it so hard not to worry now that I have Tanner. I worry that I'm not keeping him entertained enough when we are home... I worry that I'll drop him, or that I'll bonk his head on a door jam. My biggest fear is that I'll go to his crib and that he won't be breathing. This is the one that keeps me up at night. I lay there, trying to listen to him breath. It can be hard at times with Brandon, Maggie and Duckie all breathing in bed with me. I'm really trying to out grow this habit of worrying. It isn't doing me, or anyone else any good.

Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. ~Benjamin Franklin

The 3 P's

POTTY, POOP, PUKE! Yup, they are part of my everyday life now. At one time in my life if I had gotten any of these three substances on my hand let alone my face, arms, tummy, legs or chest I'd have totally freaked. Now as a momma it's the norm.

I am constantly having my little Sugar Plumb puking in my hair, or opening his mouth and spewing some while feeding. It dribbles down my chest and tummy. It has the potential to have me changing myself or my son a few times a day.

Potty is constantly shooting into the air. Streaming into my sons face and as a momma my first reaction is to block that stream with my hand!!! It leaks out the side of his diaper and soaks through my shirts, pants and blankies. It creates little fountains in his bath and is the one main cause for mountains of laundry.

Poopy is hard not to get on ones self. With little squirming legs flailing around, one must be quick or else little tootsies, legs, and hands are soon covered in the gooy mess!

I don't mind these "messes". As a new momma it's all still new and fun... This Potty, Poop, and Puke machine came from me and is worth all the laundry detergent, hand soap and sanitizer I invest in!

February in Fairbanks?!? Lovin' it!!!

It has be so incredibly warm lately! Yesterday was 42F!!! We have totally been taking advantage of it! We put Tanner in his fuzzy warm fleece, stuck him in his Baby Bjorn and then stuffed him inside Brandon's coat to take a walk! He falls asleep as soon as he gets into the front pack. The dogs, Brandon and I are sure enjoying getting out! I can't wait for true spring to get here so we can get out even more!

Not One to Complain, but...

So, I'm not one to normally complain about health care, but I feel like I've run into some bad luck lately. A few weeks back I went into the dentist. Prior to going in I had never had a cavity or a filling or ANY issues with my teeth. This time the dentist came back and told me I had a cavity and two weak spots. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I'm 28 years old and just had a baby after all. As I was getting ready to leave the dentists' assistant came and told me that he could do the filling in 30 minutes and that It would be $34 out of pocket. I decided to stick around and get it taken care of.. 30 minutes turned into an hour. I was so scared to have the cavity filled. My hands were shaking! the whole thing STUNK. No fun at all, but I survived. After it was all over the dentist told me that it was normal for it to be sensitive for a bit, but if it was sensitive for an extended period of time I may need to have a root canal. How did I go from being someone who'd never had a cavity to possibly needing a root canal?!? Then to top it off the receptionist charged me $39, not $34! What's up with that?
Today I went in for my postpartum appointment. I made it all the way through the checkup but when it came to the pap I was still too tender to have that portion of the checkup taken care of. The doc told me to reschedule and rushed out of the room before I had a chance to ask him any sort of questions like; did it look like I was healing, is there anything I can do to speed the healing process, how far out should I schedule my appointment. Then I find out that this doc is a dermatologist who is now a general practitioner. Seriously?!? I just want someone DOWN THERE who knows what the heck they are doing... I know they say that after you have a baby you don't care who is down there looking around and such... not so. I still care!
I am starting to feel jaded about the healthcare I've been receiving lately. I hope that it's isolated to these few cases and not a preview of what's to come...

New Beginnings!

I've always enjoyed writing and being on the computer... what better way to combine the two than to blog! I don't know if anyone will read my blogs, and to tell you the truth, I don't think I really care if anyone does or not. This will be a personal journey. An exploration of my mind, soul, dreams, and life! Here's to new beginnings!



"A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes"

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're feeling small, yeah
Alone in the night you whisper
Thinking no one can hear you at all
You wake with the morning sunlight
To find fortune that is smiling on you
Don't let your heart be filled with sorrow
For all you know, tomorrow
The dream that you wish will come true, oooh, yeah

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep

You wake with the morning sunlight
To find fortune that is smiling on you
Don't let your heart be filled with sorrow
For all you know, tomorrow
The dream that you wish will come true
No matter your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true
Ooh, yeah, come true